(*&#&$#*)(@ Snack Day

I can handle learning lines for seven murder mysteries and being asked to perform any one of them on a moment's notice. I can handle directing a show with a cast of 20 people and coordinating all their schedules and trying to create something of artistic integrity with very little to work with. I can handle picking up sick kids at school and keeping my car running and folding five loads of laundry and signing permission slips. But SNACK DAY kicks my butt. Every time. I always forget until the last minute when it's someone's turn to bring in the snack and end up either buying something at midnight the night before or throwing something together. Today, Tarzan brought in a gallon sized zip-lock bag filled Cheerios, Kix, pretzels, goldfish and raisins. He glared at me and said, "Well, I'm only going to eat the Cheerios. Everything else is yucky." Who's the Mom of the Year? That's right...ME!!!

Emotional Therapy

(found on another blog)
List ten things you want to say to people you know but you never will, for whatever reason. Don’t say who they are. Use each person only once.


1. Stop whining so much.
2. You are the smartest person I know; now figure out a way to enjoy it.
3. I envy your happiness.
4. Yes, I do think you talk too much.
5. You're allowed to not be funny all the time.
6. You're not as smart as you think you are.
7. Appreciate him, because he won't be around forever.
8. Get over it...the world doesn't revolve around you.
9. I'm disappointed in who you've become.
10. I hope you realize how lucky you are to have her.

Landslide

landslide video

I'm not used to posting links; so see if this works. Click on the video link above and find the video called "Workers try to remove debris on Rt. 65". Then press play and wait patiently through the commercial.

This is about 2 miles from our house, on the road that passes directly in front of us, just on the other side of the railroad tracks. This particular section of the road doesn't affect our travel that much - I only go that way a couple of times per week, not every day. But as of tonight the traintracks are shut down!!! Blessed silence. Hey, you've got to look for silver linings, right? Of course, after they reopen, it will probably be all trains, all day long, 24/7, to clear up the backlog. But, I shall sleep well tonight.

Stupid Primetime

The whole reason I don't usually watch Primetime, Dateline, or those other "pseudo-news" shows, especially when they have stories about children, is because they always make me walk away hating the world in which I'm bringing up my babies. Last night's Primetime was about Mean Girls on the Internet...how they write horrible things to each other in chat-rooms and on message boards; how they doctor others girl's messages to make them seem crueler; how they post slutty pictures of themselves and their friends. And the clincher was a story about a middle school boy who was incredibly sweet and gentle, and also a little developmentally delayed, so of course he was called gay, and a loser, and bullied mercilessly by girls who used to be his friends. He hanged himself when he was 14. Now does this kind of programming make me want to send my little ones proudly out the door to the schoolbus? No, it does not. Already my kids are frighteningly computer savvy - although their usage is currently limited to PCGames on CD or websites like NickJr and PBSkids.org. But who knows what they'll discover next? They will not be allowed to have computers in their rooms, and I will totally be expecting Don to hack into any email accounts or online journals or blogs that they have. It's just one more thing to worry about, and who really needs that???? I'm so concerned about raising healthy kids, and smart kids, and responsible kids, and active kids...but what I really care about most is raising NICE kids, GOOD kids, CARING kids. I want them to love themselves and their friends, and to stick up for the kids who are being picked on. I want them to be secure enough in themselves to step away from the crowd when they need to and to reach out to those who are outcasts. Now, how do I do that?

Just stuff

Oh, yes. We're definitely back in school. Cinderella's had strep, and the boys both have runny noses and fevers. They haven't complained of sore throats, so I haven't had them strep tested yet. I hope I'm not being that "carrier" mom who spreads it throughout the whole school! Unfortunately, I have to go in for a staff meeting today, so I have to drag Tarzan in with me, even though he feels like crap. If the Tylenol kicks in, I'll send him to preschool (which is at church anyway), and if not, he'll have to sit through staff with Cinderella and me. The staff loves me, let me tell you!
I went to the Halloween store yesterday and bought a Cleopatra type headdress for one of my murder mystery characters. I also bought some face paint crayons, because those are hard to find other times of the year. And you never know when you might need to paint someone's face! With the amount of money I've spent on costume pieces, this acting gig hasn't earned me a whole lot of money yet, but I'm sure having fun! I also just agree to teach a class on Thursday afternoons for the next six weeks. It's for ages 4-8 (so yes, they'll all be coming with me) and it's something about dramatizing poetry. I have no idea what the curriculum will be yet, I don't even know if they have something for me, or if I have to create it. Should be interesting!

Back To School

Only brief comments today, and then some pictures. There is no turning back now...never again will my babies be not-yet in school. They have boarded the education train, and she's rolling down the tracks. Also, Cinderella is already feeling better - I love pink drugs.

Off to the Doctor

Well, I'm taking Cinderella in to the Doctor this afternoon. She's still acting weird - really lethargic and crabby, and it's been almost a week, so she's going in. Hopefully it won't be too traumatic. She started preschool yesterday with a 50 minute "phase-in" session (don't get me started on the phase-in process...so stupid!) and did fine, so she'll probably act completely fine in the Dr.'s office too and start complaining again as soon as we hit the parking lot. Tarzan starts his phase-in today - he's very excited! First day of school pictures coming soon!


Later...well, she tested positive for strep. So it's not some kind of weird brain injury, which is good, and I should have taken her in sooner. Bad mommy. And no preschool tomorrow. Bummer. But, on the plus side, the amoxycillin (sp?) is PINK! Her favorite color! And apparantly doesn't taste too bad either. Tarzan had a great time in school and was reportedly very kind to a new little boy who was nervous and missed his mom.

Time to Grow

Our pastor this weekend gave a message on it being "Time to Grow". The summer was our time of abiding, he said, and that it was now time to grow. (The scripture reference was "I am the vine and you are the branches. Whoever abides in me will bear much fruit, but apart from Me you can do nothing" That's a loose translation)
He said our lives need to be approached with intentionality, and that it was time to refocus our the areas where we need to improve and develop. Now, I completely agree that we need to live our lives intentionally, and one of my personal areas of focus is currently trying to identify those times when I'm letting my life slip by me while I'm making other plans (or zoning out in front of the TV, or mindlessly surfing the net...) and to refocus on the life before me. To pay attention, in other words. And I also believe in identifying areas of our lives where we need to cultivate change. Right now, one of those areas for me is being more disciplined in my writing...Not to say that the writing will always be cogent or worth the time it takes to read, but that the act of writing itself is good for my brain. It helps me to focus, and to be present in my own life. However, I took issue with being told that it was "Time to Grow." Surely growth is a natural outcome - something which occurs when the conditions are ripe, and cannot be forced to occur simply because of someone else's wishes or desires. It's like the story in Frog and Toad, where Toad tries to grow a garden, and every day goes out to the patch of dirt and shouts "Grow, seeds! Grow!" When they don't immediately shoot up, Frog tells him that he may have scared the seeds out of growing. I can't grow simply because I'm being told it's time. What I can do is make sure that I'm being nurtured - back to exploring what those things are that bring me life. That I'm being cared for, by myself and others. That I'm being challenged and inspired. Then, hopefully, growth will happen.

Surabaya-Santa

Ha ha!!!! I found it! It totally does not translate as funny as hearing it sung, but here are the lyrics anyway. It's from a show called Songs for a New World. Enjoy!

Artist: Jessica Molaskey Lyrics
Song: Surabaya-Santa Lyrics
WOMAN 2:
I was just seventeen
When you rode into town
Just a girl full of fantasies and longing
I saw you
I knew I had to be with you

Then you looked in my eyes
And you asked me my name
And I trembled before you like a baby
Then gently I kissed you
Who could resist you?
You took my heart and soul

And before I had a chance to take control
We retired to your palace on the Pole
Where we only had ourselves
And the reindeer and the elves
And a lot of things we never said
About the life I could have led
If I had had the sense to stay away

But here we are Nick
And so Nick
I know it's time for you to go Nick
I know by now I'll never claim you for my own
I've been resigned to spend my Christmases alone
And so au revoir Nick
It's grand Nick
I don't pretend to understand Nick
I saw you look at Blitzen long and lovingly
The way you used to look at me

I have sat twenty years
In this drafty retreat
As the latest in the line of Mrs. Clauses
I've sat here
And wondered what you want from me
But you sit by yourself
On the couch in the den
And you watch "Miracle on 34th Street"
You get sad and dreamy
Can't even see me
Won't even say, "Hello!"

Now you tell me that it's time for you to go
Ha!
Sling your sack upon your back and "Ho, ho, ho!"
Ha!
And what matters most of all
Is to sit inside some mall
And you never think of me
While I am pining by the tree
But never mind
I will survive
While you are gone

I set you free, Nick
Goodbye, Nick
Go ride your reindeer through the sky, Nick
I don't suppose you'll ever want me by your side
I know you now
You want a plaything, not a bride
So on your way, Nick
Shalom, Nick
Don't feel the need to hurry home, Nick
Should I want comfort in the cold and bitter storm
I've got the elves to keep me warm

Oh, oh, Nick, I didn't mean it. I'm just going crazy all cooped up in here! Oh, Nick, I mean, come on, I'm not even German.
Please take me with you. Please! I'm your wife damn it. Isn't there one once of human decency buried beneath all those layers
of fat? You disgust me! Oh yes, It's so easy to judge, isn't it? Deciding who's naughty and who's nice? Well, who died and
left you God, Mr. Claus? Hmph.

But never mind, Nick
Okay, Nick
I hate to keep you from your sleigh, Nick
When you return I will be many miles away
I'll have my lawyer call your lawyer
New Years Day!

That's all from me, Nick
Gain way, Nick
I'll miss you less than I can say, Nick
Have fun with all the little boys along the route
I'll get the mansion and the factory to boot
I will not wait until the snow beneath me thaws
I will escape
Your Santa claws!!

It's all fun and games until someone puts their eye out

I went to a cabaret type fundraiser last night and heard a friend of mine sing this fabulous song...and now I can't remember what it's called!! It's sung by Santa's wife, and it's all about how she's leaving him because he seems to prefer the reindeer over her, and it's marvelously funny. I'm going to try to find the lyrics and post them, although it won't be nearly as effective without hearing Becki's performance of it. She's one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life, and she has an incredible voice - chest voice, head voice, musical theater, legit, funny accents, she can do it all. I met some really nice people, and had a great time.
On the down side, something's bothering Cinderella. She fell down a couple of days ago and bumped her nose on the side of the computer. There was a small scratch on the outside which bled a little, but it didn't look serious, and she stopped crying after a couple of minutes. Ever since then, though, she'll rub her nose and start crying, saying it hurts. It's not the side that had the scratch, so I'm wondering if she did something to the inside. She's also been really tired and crabby ever since then. I hope it's nothing more than the "three's". I'll watch her for a couple of days, and if she's still complaning about it, I'll call the Dr., who can then force a flashlight up her nose, and poke and prod it with his hand until she's totally freaked about the pain and doctors in general, and then tell me he can't see anything wrong. Kind of like what happened with her ears when she was a baby. She still doesn't like her ears being looked at. Plus, she just had a well-child checkup the morning before this fall! She weighs 28 pounds now - only 3 behind Tarzan! I told him he'd better start eating more, or she'll catch up to him and start beating him up.
Oh, someone also sang "The Scotsman" at this cabaret - I didn't know there was another verse at the end...J, you've been holding out!!!

Happy Birthday, Cinderella!

My baby girl is three years old! I can hardly believe it. It really is true that while the days pass slowly sometimes, the years fly by. Even though you have two brothers, and most of your playmates are boys, you are definitely a girly-girl. You love to dress up in shiny clothes, you love to dance, you love necklaces and rings and purses and hats. You are the Princess of the family, and you relish that position. Like most three's, you have a highly independent and stubborn streak, and aren't above physically making your demands known if you need to. You don't let anyone push you around! You really love playing with your babydolls, your dollhouse, and coloring. You have a great attention span when playing with little toys, and you also love to swing, climb, and ride your bike. You love to give hugs and kisses, but get very hurt when your brothers have had enough of them and want you to go away. You're starting preschool next week,
and you're very excited. You've been working hard to use the potty and wear big-girl pants so you can go to preschool, and I'm SO happy about that. You love Dora the Explorer, and have been suckered in by the Disney Princess franchise.

You stink at taking naps, but you sleep pretty well at night. You already know how to flirt, and pose. You are everything I hoped for and feared in a little girl, and I love you SO much. Happy Birthday, Cinderella!!!

Re-entry

What things bring you life? What things drain you? These are questions that I've been asked a couple of times in the past few weeks by different people...sometimes it seems that's how God works to get my attention - He'll hit me over the head a few times by having totally unconnected people talk to me about exactly the same issues. Fall, back to school, back to work, it always seems to be a time of reflection and self-evaluation for me. Much more so than "New Year's" Day, which seems to be a pretty random time of year for re-invention. But this time of year, the kid's are all starting new schedules, Scooby's in 2nd grade, Tarzan in 4-year old preschool 3x per week, and Cinderella's in 3-year old preschool 2x per week. I'm starting new projects at church and in the theater group, we're back to getting up early in the mornings. (Okay, we got up early all summer, as I've been cursed with early riser kids, but now we're actually showering, dressing, and going places early in the morning.) It's a time for shaking off the summer laziness and getting serious again. Blech.
So what brings me life? Conversations with a certain few people in my life. Being near the ocean. God, I miss the ocean out here in the land of the three rivers. Rivers just aren't the same. Singing on the worship team. Reading a good book. Getting outdoors and running, or even walking. Rehearsing the mystery shows. When the kids are sweet to each other - helping each other out, or hugging each other for no particular reason. The fact that Cinderella's almost pottytrained! (Hooray!) The beach.
What drains me? Conversations with other certain people in my life. Having to call just about anyone on the phone. Cooking dinner when I know it's going to be met with whining and complaining every time. Getting up in the dark. Trying to gather people together to "form a community" artificially. (Part of my job at church which I'm trying to change) Playing with Little People toys. I don't know why, I should like it, but I don't! Being so far away from my family. Being so far away from the ocean.
There seems to be a theme here doesn't there? Now if anyone can tell me how to pick up my life here and transfer it to the ocean, that would be much appreciated.
I'm going to try to make writing more of a discipline for myself. It won't always be blog writing, but hopefully sometimes it will. I didn't start a blog to have it hanging out there reproaching me with it's lack of entries. So, for the time being, I'm back, and trying to hold on to the things that bring life, amid all the scheduling and readjusting to things.

Oh, the squalor

There is a fly that has taken up residence in my kitchen for the past four days. It's not a big fly, or even particularly bothersome, as far as flies go. The trouble is, I can't find the fly swatter, and any fly in my kitchen AT ALL makes me feel as though I'm living in total squalor. Somehow, the very fact of the fly highlights the sticky spots on the table, the crumbs on the counter, the week-old spaghetti sauce Rorschach pattern on the stove. Without the fly, these things seem tolerable. With the fly, total trailer trash. Can't explain it, really, but there it is.
I've really been dragging the past couple of days...I don't know if it's the muggy rainy weather, PMS, or some kind of bug, (perhaps some kind of intestinal kitchen fly!) but it's been making me feel like a squeezed out sponge. I'm going to try to get out and run (or at least walk with enthusiasm) tomorrow morning, and maybe that will help. It's supposed to be at least partly sunny tomorrow, and that may help too.

Overheard today in the car - a song by Cinderella:
"Oh, I'm luv marshmallows, and goldfish,
Oh, I'm luv marshmallows and goldfish, and fishies,
and I'm have toenails,
Oh, the sun and the moon, Oh yeah,
I'm going peepee.....on the potty,
And I'm luv marshmallows, and cups, and signs,
Oh nanooo, ooo, nah....the sun...."

Is this how Bob Dylan started?

Happy Birthday, Scooby!

It's still birthday season here. We had another party on Monday, and the weather cleared up in time for a hot, sunny, raucous little boy birthday party. We celebrated with a baseball theme this year, in honor of Scooby's newfound passion for the game (although not for the Pirates, unfortunately, as they are very difficult to root for!!)
We made baseball picture frames, played pin the hat on the ballplayer, had a relay race with spoons and balls, and lots of yummy treats to eat. I think he had a really nice time and it was especially nice to have Grandma and Grandpa AND Granny all here to celebrate with us.
So Scooby, you're a big seven year old now...big front teeth, goofy grin, and all. You are my creative thinker, my storyteller, my craft-maker. You have definite visions for how you want your world to be, and plans for how to get there. You have great ideas for stories, games, projects, contraptions...you love to see how things work and try to replicate it yourself. You're a thinker - you're big question has always been "Why?" (Just as Tarzan's has been "What if....?" and Cinderella's has been "What are you doing?") You're a cuddly snuggler, and capable of being extremely silly and goofy - all good qualities to have! You are my firstborn, my long awaited beloved son, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. Happy Birthday, big boy!

I have a preference!

Okay, I definitely prefer the noisy non-napper to the stealth bomber. Yesterday, Cinderella managed to cross a threshold that I thought I had escaped...and had, so far, with the boys. Yes, she finger-painted her new big-girl bed with poop. The mesh side rails, the white comforter, the pillow. And did she feel bad about it? Was she afraid to tell me? No. (Her) "Mama, my hand poopy." (Me) "What? WHY is your hand poopy? What ELSE is poopy?" (Her) "Oh. My bed." As if to say, oh, that old thing? Funny you should ask. And today, I find out that she has peeled off all the decorative flowers, sequins, etc. that were on the letter "E" that Grandpa had made for her and hid them under the bed. Um, E for Cinder-ELLA, of course. She is by far the most destructive of the three, and so freakin' quiet about it.
When she's not weeping loudly for absolutely no reason, of course. (Me) "Why are you crying?" (Her) "I (sob) don't (sob, sob, wail) know!!!!"
Looking forward to Grandma and Grandpa coming to visit this weekend...unless of course they change their minds after reading this!!!

Happy Birthday Tarzan!

Well, you're 4 years old today. You woke up with a smile and said, "Today I'm lucky!" Of course the big party was yesterday, so you're a little bleary eyed, and wanting to play with all the new toys at once - for 3 seconds at a time. Favorite gifts so far - a scooter, and a spiderman chair that folds out into a futon. Last night when you went to bed, I said, "Tomorrow when you wake up, you'll be four!" And you said, "Really? How will I change?" "You probably won't feel any different," I said, "But you'll really be four." And this morning, after feeling lucky, you said, "You're right, Mom. I don't feel any different. But I think my laugh grew." Which is probably very true. Your laugh gets bigger every year. And so does the rest of you!. You're starting to leave toddler-hood behind, and entering the world of a fully developed PERSON. Of course, you've always been strong of personality. You entered the world with feistiness and determination, cried through your first 12 weeks, and emerged...fiesty and determined. Some might say stubborn. But with a huge sense of humor, a highly contagious giggle, and a definate cuddly streak. You are my clown, my performer, my acrobat. Although a middle child, there's no danger of you being left out or not getting enough attention! You are an action hero come to life - last year you had a Spiderman birthday, this year a Batman one. Running, jumping, tumbling, swimming, wrestling - you only stop when sleep overtakes you, and that's always a fight too. I'm so proud of you, my little man. Keep on fighting for your place in the sun. Keep on making everyone around you smile with you. Keep on enjoying your life. Happy Birthday!

Girls are sneaky

Tarzan was never a good sleeper from day one. He fought sleep loudly, voraciously, and firmly. He often still does, although he's gotten a little better at it...I like to think we've worn him down with our firm, consistent parenting, but more likely, he's just more tired since he usually doesn't nap anymore.
Cinderella, however, was always a good sleeper...until we removed the pacifier.
Since then she has napped...twice.
And now that we've moved her into the big-girl bed, she can be mobile while she's not sleeping.
Unlike Tarzan, however, she doesn't stand at the top of the stairs and yell, "MOM!!!!!MOM!!!!MOM!!!" for 15 straight minutes. No, she is a girl, so she is sneaky.
Yesterday I went into my room after "naptime" and found a row of clean washclothes lined up on the floor, like some kind of bath-themed firing squad. Had I heard her in my room? No. Did I ever find out the reason for the elegant procession of washcloths? no.
Just now I went up to check on her, opened her bedroom door, and lo! She was not there. Again, she was in my room, looking very suspiciously innocent. No washcloths lined up this time. Perhaps she was just beginning to plot the demise of another laundry item, or maybe she was doing something completely different that I haven't yet discovered.
Which is better? I kind of like the quiet of the sneaky non-napper, but it was nice to know exactly what was going on with the noisy one. I guess time will tell.

They're growing up too fast!!!

Tarzan had his last day of preschool today. He won awards for 1st place in the Basketball Throw, and second place in the Penguin Race. He stood right in the front of the class and sang all the songs and then made funny faces until everyone laughed. All the kids wrote prayers for their teachers and collected them in a prayer jar. Tarzan's went like this: For Ms. Cheryl - I pray that she will be good. She is very nice. She is silly. For Ms. Lynda - She has nice hair. She puts on the clean-up song when it is time to clean up. I pray that she will not be sad when Ms. Cheryl is gone.
Scooby's last day of school is tomorrow. He wrote a poem about his school because they are renovating it next year, and he will be bussed to another school 20 minutes away. He wrote: "Osborne is being changed. Osborne is getting better. Osborne is my favorite school. Even though it will LOOK different, the memories will still be in the walls. Goodbye school! See you in third grade!" He also had his first orthodontic consultation. Dr. Forrest says it's not a matter of IF he'll need braces, just a matter of when. He said we'll let the roots grow a little more, and we'll come back in October for a "spacer".
Cinderella is graduating into a "big girl" bed. We repainted her walls yellow, and I stenciled an ivy border across the top. She's getting Aunt Melissa's old canopy bed, and it should be all ready to go by tomorrow night. Sigh.
I miss my babies.

Today's bit of narcissism

I copied these questions from a bulletin board on myspace.com. I actually have a myspace...space, but I don't know how to do anything there. So I copied it over to here, where I know how to do stuff. I don't know all the official "blog language", but if I "tag" everyone who reads this post, why don't you answer it too? (Except Becki, since she's the one I stole this from on myspace!)

Prologue:
Where did you take your default pic?
Okay, I don't actually have a default picture on this site, but on myspace, it's one of me in Aruba with the big stuffed gorilla in a hammock.
What exactly are you wearing right now?
Blue velour sweats and pink breast cancer awareness shirt.
What is your current problem?
Damn kids won't nap.
What makes you most happy?
Lots of sleep, good books, great sex. (Sorry Mom)
If you could go back in time and change something would you?
Yes. Many many many things.
Name something obvious about you:
I need to run more often.
What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
Nothing right now. The Grey's Anatomy theme song is running through my head, though.
Any celeb you would marry?
I already married George Michael. Or at least someone who looked a heck of a lot like him when we met!
Name somene with the same birthday as you:
I dunno.
Do you have a crush on someone?
Can you tell these are myspace questions? Not really.
Ever sang in front of a large audience?
Once or twice.
What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Grande no-fat no-whip mocha latte.
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
I used to hear Natalie Wood, but that was a long time ago.
Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
Um...all the time. Not necessarily by choice...
Do you speak any other languages?
Used to speak some French, and all the Spanish one can pick up from Sesame Street, Maya and Miguel, and Dora the Explorer. "Come on, vamanos!"
What magazines do you read?
Parenting, Reader's Digest, Architecture Digest, Redbook.
Have you ever ridden in a Hummer limo?
No. This is a dumb question.
Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
Yes.
Do you ever watch MTV?
No, but Don does, so I catch some of the stupidity that flashes by.
What's something that really annoys you?
Umbrellas bumping the top of my head.
Chapter 1:Middle name:
Lynn
Nickname(s):
Mom.
Current location:
A chair in the blue room, Sewickley, PA
Eye color:
Brown
Chapter 2:Do you live with your parents:
Nope.
Do you get along with your parents:
Yes, totally.
Are your parents married/separated/divorced:
Married 40 years! Yippee!
Do you have any siblings:
Older sister, Younger sister, younger brother
Chapter 3:FavoritesIce cream flavor:
So many to choose from...chocolate chip cookie dough and white turtle
Season:
Late Spring/Early Summer
Shampoo/conditioner:
Head and Shoulders (yes, I admit it) and Pantene
Chapter 4:Do You ...Sing in the shower:
Not really.
Write on your hand:
No.
Call people back:
Only if I have to. I love email!!!!
Believe in love:
Yes, and He's a person.
Sleep on a certain side of the bed:
Yes, the side that's not Don's. He's very picky about it.
Have any bad habits:
No. Absolutely not. Ha ha.
Chapter 5:Have You Ever ...Broken a bone:
Yes, arm at Higley.
Gotten stitches:
No.
Taken painkillers:
Just aspirin-type things. Even during/after childbirth. Yay me!
Gone SCUBA diving:
No, but I did snorkle twice!
Thrown up in a restaurant?
I don't think so. Cars are my barforama of choice.
Sworn in front of your parents:
A little, but they started it!
Had detention:
No. But I was suspended for a week. Totally undeserved.
Been sent to the principal's office:
For the above mentioned suspension.
Chapter 6:Who/What was the last ...Person to text you?
Nobody texts me.
What did it say:
See above answer.
Person to call you:
My mom.
Person you hugged:
My son Tarzan.
Person you tackled?
My son Scooby.
Thing you touched:
Besides the keyboard? My son Scooby's new book that he's insisting I look at RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!
Thing you ate:
A piece of Easter candy from my kid's stash.
Thing you drank:
Water
Thing you said:
"You do not have to go potty!" and "Just a minute!"

The End.

Mother's Day Message

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there!!!

Mother’s Day Message - May 2006

Before I say anything else, I want to introduce myself. My name is Amy Dunlap and I’m the Director of the Drama Ministry here at St. Philip’s. But more importantly, I’m the mother of (Scooby), age 6, (Tarzan), age 3, and (Cinderella), age 2. I love being their Mom. They are my pride and joy, and I love them more than life itself. I think it’s important for me to say that first, and you’ll understand why as I progress with my message.

So we were sitting in our creative team meeting a couple of weeks ago, and Eric (our pastor) says, "Mother's Day again. I've preached on Mother's Day so many times. What else is there to say? What do mothers need to hear?" Let me tell you, my response was instantaneous, and visceral...right from my gut. "We need to hear we don't stink as Mothers!" Actually, I used another word than stink, but I don't feel comfortable using it in front of you all. Eric and the other men in the room were surprised by the vehemence of my response, but the other Mom in the room knew exactly what I meant. The feeling of failure as a parent, and the guilt that accompanies it can be practically immobilizing. It can defeat you, plunge you into depression, and make you completely ineffective in God's Kingdom. Do these phrases sound familiar to any of you? "If I were a good mother, my children wouldn't talk back, fight, or whine. Good mothers have better discipline. Good mothers have more patience. Good mothers don’t yell. Good mothers have clean houses. Good mothers cook nutritious dinners every night. Good mothers don’t forget when it’s their turn for snack day. Good mothers have theme birthday parties and hand-sew their children's Halloween costumes." Any of this sounding familiar? I could go on and on. I could go on because these feelings are all mine.

So because I was so emphatic and passionate about my response, Eric decided that I should be the one to get up here and talk about this to you all. But please know, I'm not here as an expert with all the answers to this issue. I'm here because this is probably the biggest struggle in my life, with the deepest roots, and the most far-reaching implications.One of my favorite television shows is Grey's Anatomy, which is about new interns in a surgical residency struggling to maintain a balance between their personal and professional lives. In one of the early episodes, the five interns are seen sprawling in various stages of exhaustion after a grueling day, where they never seemed to know enough, and where the stakes are literally life and death.

One of the interns, George, blurts out "Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing?" And every one of them raises their hand.Well, if I were to ask that question today in a room full of parents, I'd bet that if folks were being completely honest, a whole lot of hands would be raised into the air. There are many, many moments in my day when I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. In fact, there are many moments in my day when I feel like a total and complete failure. I’ll give you some examples.

Now, it’s not like I have this big dramatic story to tell you – like leaving my kids in the car in 90 degree weather while I go and drink at the Seashell Lounge. It’s really not that dramatic at all. It’s more like Chinese water torture…drip after drip after drip, until you feel like you might go crazy. There was the time when my two year old had a complete meltdown in Barnes and Noble, and I had to carry her under my arm, screaming at the top of her lungs, out to the car, where I then had to physically hold her down and force her into her car seat. I was completely covered with sweat by the time she was buckled in. It doesn’t seem right that such a little body can exert so much force! Or when my middle child was a newborn, and pooped on my friend’s brand new off-white shag carpet while I was changing him – right after I had declined her offer for a towel to put under him. Or when I found out my first grader had cheated on a spelling test. Or when I gave the kids peanut butter and jelly for dinner again, and my son asked me why we can’t ever have a real dinner – like Granny cooks. Or the many times when I have been so overwhelmed with frustration and anger that I’ve found myself shaking, and red-faced, and screaming at the kids like some toothless, flip-flop wearing Jerry Springer guest. More than once, I have cried myself to sleep at night because of the shame I feel from failing my children.

And as if the sometimes overwhelming struggle to simply get through each day isn’t enough, when I consider the fact that I am also responsible for spiritual formation of these young lives and how great my sphere of influence is right now, and how short a time I have…I want to crawl under the covers and hide. It’s just too much! The very job sets us up to fail. It's impossible. I asked my own mother this week what she thought a Mom’s job was. She said, “To love unconditionally – no matter how rotten the kids are.” I don’t know why she would say a thing like that to me, her perfect daughter…but even that is impossible. Sometimes I don’t feel love for my kids. Sometimes, I don’t even like them very much. And I’ve only been doing this for seven years – I can’t imagine what the teen years are going to be like. Actually, I told Don he gets them as soon as they hit puberty. He likes hanging out with that age, so he can have them. I got the diapers, he gets the hormones.

And you know what? I guarantee you, I am not alone. I have talked to other Moms about this, and the response was universal. We all feel guilty for failing our children, and we all feel like bad mothers, at least some of the time. In fact, when I went online and Googled the phrase "Mother Guilt", there were over 15 million hits that matched. 15 million! That gave me some confidence that I’m not the only one to struggle with this.

Now to be honest, I started to get a little ticked off with God when I realized just how universal these feelings are. Why would he put us in such an important position and give us such enormous responsibilities when there's no possible way that we can do it? Those feelings of guilt and failure? Well, guess what. They're accurate. It's true. When I try to fulfill all the expectations of others and of myself in my own power, I am a failure as a mother. And so are you. But wait, don't leave yet. There's more. Here is where the kingdom of God comes in, and turns everything upside down. Which is so God, isn't it? Let's look at the reading again.

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

After describing a pretty amazing and unusual spiritual experience, Paul then reveals how God allowed a thorn in his flesh to prevent him from becoming proud. Scholars don’t all agree as to exactly what this “thorn” was, but it is generally believed to be something physical in nature, perhaps having to do with Paul’s eyesight. Whatever it was, however, it was troublesome enough that Paul pleaded with the Lord three times to remove it. God said no. Not only did He say no, He said that His grace is sufficient, now and forever, and that His power is made perfect in weakness. Do you hear that? Not only that God will give Paul the strength to eke by, to struggle though the times of hardship, to just barely make it over the mountain, but that God’s power is made PERFECT in weakness. What are the thorns that God has allowed in your life? For me, one of them is impatience. I can’t stand it when I feel like someone’s holding me back, or not moving at my pace. It’s why I can’t get through a weekday morning without raising my voice to my first grader. Why does it have to take ten minutes to brush his teeth? Why? Why does it take everyone so long to get their shoes on? Or take a bath? It drives me crazy! It’s a thorn in my life. And it keeps me humble, because I continue to struggle with it, again and again.

See, what God is doing here is giving Paul, and the rest of us, a message of grace. We often think that without human strength we are destined to fail and without personal courage we are bound to falter. But even though strength and courage are good things, having too much of them can cause us to seek self-sufficiency and not God-dependency. God shows us how weak we are in and of ourselves because He wants us to trust in Him - not in our gifts or abilities, our experience, or our spiritual reserves. Just about the time we feel self-confident and able to meet the enemy, we fail miserably. And our weakness enables us to experience the power of Christ.Grace is God's provision for our every need, when we need it. The grace of God transforms our weakness into God’s perfect power. The weakness isn’t just replaced, but transformed into a gift - a blessing.

God has ample grace for our every need, but He doesn’t give it in advance. Hebrews 4:16 says we come by faith to the throne of grace "that we may receive mercy, and find grace to help us in our time of need." Our time of need – not to greedily fill up our pockets in advance, so that we can meet our own needs when the time arrives. It’s like when the Israelites collected the manna in the wilderness. The manna was there every morning, sufficient for the day. But if they tried to horde it or save it, it went rotten. They were forced to trust in God’s mercies anew every morning.There’s a great example of this in The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom. The child Corrie is concerned about not having the inner strength she will need to face the future. Her father reminds her that when they go on a trip to Amsterdam, he gives her her ticket right before they get on the train. And likewise, our Heavenly Father, in His wisdom, gives us what we need on our journey at the very moment that we need it. See, we would much prefer that God would orchestrate our lives so as to prevent those moments of weakness from ever occurring, but what He does is wait until we discover that we can’t do it on our own, until we crash, until we need Him, until we ask for Him, and then He says, “Look. Look what I can do with even this.”

I mentioned earlier that our weakness and failure can be transformed into a gift, and I’d like to unpack that just a bit. There are three ways that failure can be a gift. Failure is a gift to us because it reminds us that we are not God. Now most of you are probably saying, “Hey, I know I’m not God. What kind of conceited freak would think they were God?” But really, don’t we sometimes try to be God to our kids? Don’t you sometimes feel that if you did your job right, as a mom, that your kids would always be happy, healthy, smart and popular? Don’t you want to heal every wound, make straight every path, and give them all the wisdom, knowledge and experience they need to succeed in life? And doesn’t it feel good when you get a little adulation back? I was in the car last week, driving home from preschool, and I had neglected to pack the sippy cups in the diaper bag. Of course, whenever I forget, that's when the kids are dying of thirst. And as I'm sure you all know, it's really impossible to reason with a two and three year old about the distance between here and there, and how long it will take, and the amount of forbearance necessary to tide you over. Instead, all I heard was "But I'm thirsty! I'm thirsty, Mama! I'm thirsty NOW!" Finally, in exasperation, I said, "Well, I can't make water for you out of nothing. I'm not Jesus!" To which my daughter replied, in all her toddler wisdom, "Mama, you not Jesus, you Mama!" See, she gets it. Too often, we try to be Jesus to our kids. We try to meet all their needs - spiritual, physical, emotional, and we can't do it, because we're not God! Failure reminds us that there are things and people that we cannot control. There are things we can't fix or manage. There are areas of our kids’ lives that only God can touch. And we are not Him!

Failure is also a gift to others, to tell them that you are not God. It’s part of the human condition to look for someone to heal your wounds and your brokenness. And many people are disappointed when they look to a leader, whether a corporate, political, or spiritual leader and that leader doesn’t meet their expectations. Or maybe it’s a relationship; a spouse, a parent, even a child who is expected to fill up all the emptiness and need. But as C.S. Lewis says, “Human beings can never really make each other happy for very long.” Salvation never comes from the side – from another traveler along the road – only from above.And children especially need to learn that their parents can not meet all of their needs, that their parents are not perfect. When we blame ourselves as mothers for our children’s failures or sins, when we take on guilt that isn’t ours, we are attempting to take Jesus’ place in their lives. My kids don’t need me to be their Savior – they need Jesus. They also don’t need a perfect Mother, to settle every argument, discipline every stray word and tame every rebellion. They have a Heavenly Father for that. And they need to learn to rely themselves on the Holy Spirit of God, and not expect me or their father to be able to meet their spiritual needs.

Finally, failure is a gift to God. When we offer our failures to God, we allow the Redeemer to redeem. We allow His power to become perfect. When we die to ourselves, God's resurrection power can go to work. God's power neither displaces weakness, nor overcomes it. On the contrary, it comes to full strength in it. Not that we are to cherish our infirmities. Weakness in and of itself will perfect nothing. But when the human vessel is weak, Divine power is especially evident.2 Cor. 4: 6-7 says "For God who said 'Let light shine out of darkness' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” Isn’t that a beautiful picture? The all-surpassing glory of God, this incredible treasure, being contained inside feeble, fallible, coarse, utilitarian vessels like us. The bizarre thing is, we get so busy trying to fill up our jars by ourselves – with relationships, recreation, work, anything to fill that emptiness inside. But God desires that emptiness, so that He can fill it with Himself. When we are too full of ourselves, we don’t leave any room for God.
Listen to these words by Sir Thomas Browne:
“If thou could’st empty thyself of self,
Like to a shell disinhabited,
Then He might find thee on the ocean shelf,
and say, “This is not dead,”
And fill thee with Himself instead.
But thou art all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity,
That when He comes he says,
“This is enow Unto itself – ‘twere better let it be,
It is so small and full, there is no room for me.”

Our weakness is what will enable us to empty ourselves of ourselves, and make room for God’s power.

It is not our place to try to redeem our failures as parents, or the failures of our children. It is our job to develop a relationship and an intimacy with the Redeemer, Christ himself. Anytime we focus on our behavior and working harder, and running up the hill faster, and being better at what we do, we have already lost the battle. We need to focus instead on Christ, and on the battle He already won on the cross. Christ is the one who takes all our mistakes, sins, inadequacies, and failures, and changes them into something beautiful. He’s the one who takes our old messy human hearts, and replaces them with His perfect one. When we get out of the way, and let the Holy Spirit work in ourselves and our children, He can bring change, and conviction, and love, and joy. Then he can make us all vessels that will glorify Him.

God doesn’t look on us with disdain or contempt when he sees our failures. He looks on us with compassion and mercy. God desires to perfect His power in our weakness and to shine His light through our muddy jars of clay. Why don’t you offer up those areas of weakness to the Father right now? Maybe you’ve failed as a parent. Maybe your failure is in your relationship to your spouse, or to your own parents. Wherever it is, stop holding on to it and stop trying to hide it. Bring it into the light, and let God transform it into a blessing.