Day 2

Yep, I did it again. Got the boys on the bus, parked Cinderella in front of the computer, and walked/ran/slogged again. Up through Sewickley village again - my usual route. SUCH a gorgeous day! So many flowering trees, daffodils, tulips, hydrangeas, brillant blue sky, cool breeze...such a shame to have to ruin it by attempting forward motion with my decrepit old body.

Here is some video from the Dino show. Almost as good as being there! Is he not the cutest thing you've ever seen???

Bleah.

I walked today.
I got up, got the boys on the bus, dressed in one of my three threadbare sports bras, yoga pants that are too tight in the waist, running socks, Steelers T-shirt, hat, running shoes. Got the girl off to school. Plugged another set of earphones (still haven't found ones I like) into hand-me-down iPod (thanks, Steve!) and set off. One mile from the church to the park, up and down several very steep and muddy walking trails, and one mile back. I tried to run some, but didn't get very far.
My feet hurt. My ankles hurt. My knees hurt.
I suck.
I remember when I used to do this a lot. I also know that if I don't do it EVERY DAY, I'll go long stretches without doing it at all. It sucks being back at Day 1.
However, I've got to start somewhere. I have been spending that past several months NOT doing it, and self-medicating my increasing bouts of depression with food. I know I'm self-medicating while I do it, and yet seem unable to stop. The magazine articles suggest retail therapy instead. To which I reply: HA!!! Without my church paycheck, my discretionary spending budget has dropped from negligable to none.
Well, enough whining.
Tarzan seems a little better. His dinosaur play was great - he was right in the front (there are advantages to being short!) and sang every word nice and loud. SO cute. So that's one less thing for him to worry about. His first day at T-ball went great too. He's got a lot more natural athletic ability than some (not mentioning any names) and I think he'll do really well. Cindrella found some friends to play Barbies with, and had a ball. Scooby wandered around, above it all, complaining that I wouldn't let him climb the chain link fence, and insisting he didn't FEEL like reading the book he'd brought. Oh, well!
We finally planted some grass on the right-hand side of the yard. It's only been 8 months! We got some nice soaking rain and the next few days should be sunny, so it should do well. The kids are already clamoring to put the pool up. Now that I know what a pain in the ass it is, I'm not really looking forward to it!
Current reads: A history of Shakespeare by Bill Bryson; Eats, Shoots and Leaves (the punctuation book); Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
All good - all highly recommended!

Bump in the Night

I'm a little worried about Tarzan. He's been really fretful and anxious lately, which is not at all like him. (Although, I need to be careful about characterizing what is "like him" because he, like the other two, is growing and changing all the time.) Ever since the sleepover-that-wasn't, he's had a little trouble sleeping without being snuggled. And when I went away with Scooby, it really intensified. He had a tummy-ache at Granny's, and "bad pictures in his head" and the next night, home with Daddy, he freaked out and cried for four hours, saying he missed Mommy. And, he wrote me this:

Which is very sweet, but breaks my heart!!! (That's Tarzan, in the blue, sitting at the kitchen table, and that's me in the red, toasting waffles.)
He says he saw a book in the library. A scary book, with a scary alien on the cover. And now, he imagines, this scary alien is going to nail him to a wall. Yeesh.
Some of it is his age, I know. Scooby went through the same thing at this age. I vividly remember my dreams of a pirate ship sailing through the Leaver's woods towards our house, bound for pillage and destruction, and I'm pretty sure I was about the same age then. So I'm trying to be patient, and wait for it to pass.
Of course, those thoughts always go through my head. You know, THOSE thoughts. About what may have happened at this sleepover? But I don't think anything did, other than his imagination slipping into another gear.
THOSE thoughts are the things that sneak into my head on a regular basis and are promptly shooshed and squashed down. "What if the school bus driver just never brings them home?" "What if some bully corners them in the school bathroom?" "What if this birthday party is all a ruse for a pedophiliac sex group?" Unfounded and without basis - and all part of the fear of letting them go, little by little. THOSE thoughts aren't allowed to gain purchase on any part of my mind. But I can't refuse them entry. Some day, they may be telling the truth.
But, this has taken a morbid turn. Tarzan is going to be fine. The alien picture will eventually fade, and new fears will take it's place. He has two birthday parties this week, a Dinosaur play in class on Friday, and a field trip next week. He'll get distracted. He'll move on. In the meantime, I'll hold him a little tighter, kiss him a little more, and read him happy stories about pirate ships. (Hey, that was my nightmare; not his.)

And the chapter closes

Well, we're not moving on to the World Finals in Maryland. Which is probably a good thing, sanity-wise; but I have to admit, it's disappointing after having gotten so far. The team ultimately came in 9th out of 15 - which is not as good as I would have liked, but it still means they're in the top ten in the state! And they really did the best they could do, which is all I can ask for. Scooby was disappointed, but he seems okay about it today. And we had a beautiful day in Altoona - sunshine, puffy clouds, cool breezes...the kids got to spend almost 3 hours playing outside on a big football field. There was a duck-duck-goose game for awhile with almost 100 kids in it! According to my calculations, there were about 1,500 kids from third grade through high school that participated in the state finals. We actually didn't get to see many of the other groups perform, since the kids really wanted to run around outside. Maybe next year. Good grief! Did I just say that??? So the Odyssey is concluded for 2008 - all that's left to do is decide which props to trash and which to salvage for reusable materials. It's been quite an adventure. Now back to real life...

State Finals, here we come!

Well, we're off to Altoona for the Odyssey of the Mind State Finals! Send us good thoughts and safe travel prayers. I'll post on Sunday and let you know how our team did. They're already winners, whatever happens!!!

Tooth Tales, Take Two

I warned you, tooth fairy!

Well, Tarzan's first attempt at real live big-boy sleepover ended at about 10:45pm. The other boy's dad brought him to the front door and said, "Maybe next time" and took off. Apparently, he was fine until it was time to get PJ's on and get into bed - then he got worried about what might happen if he had a nightmare in the middle of the night and everyone else was sleeping. Legitimate fear, in my opinion. So home he came. Next time maybe we'll try it over here.
I took myself out last night and went to see the Pittsburgh Playhouse production of Romeo and Juliet. I hadn't seen a fully staged version since probably ninth grade. The sets, lights, costumes, fight choreography, and music were really good. The acting was...pretty young. Undergrad theater majors, and it really showed. But I enjoyed it and the best part was...on my way in, a lady was giving away her extra tickets, and I got in free! I'd go more often if I could be assured of that happening!!!

Tarzan's Lost Tooth

Look out toothfairy!

More Covers

Okay - just to show how cool and hip I am (ha), this link is to the very concert that I attended on Thursday night - the Hotel Cafe Tour at Mr. Small's Theater. This is Ingrid Michaelson (of "if you are chilly, here take my sweater" fame, and who's awesome song Keep Breathing was featured on last season's finale of Grey's Anatomy) and Cary Brothers, who is a friend of Zach Braff's and who's had songs on Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy and ER. He's probably most famous for "Blue Eyes." Unfortunately, it's only a short snippet of their cover of If You Were Here from Sixteen Candles. Also playing was Josh Radin, who's also had songs on Scrubs and Grey's. (Sensing a theme here?)
The concert was really good - although, I'm too old to STAND for 5 hours. There were no chairs. I guess that's the "in" thing now.

Dancing vs.Dancing

Reasons why Dancing With the Stars is inferior to So You Think You Can Dance:

1. Only half the people can dance
2. The music is horrifying
3. Monica Seles
4. The America's Funniest Videos guy vs. Cat Deely
5. Monica Seles
6. Monica Seles
7. Oh, did I mention? Monica Seles. Good God, that woman is awkward.

Happy Easter!

It was colder here on Easter than it was on Christmas. However, it was sunny, eggs were found, Jesus was worshipped, ham was eaten. Who could ask for anything more?

Poor Tarzan. Last week it was fever and coughing. Today it's been throwing up and...you know, the other end...all day. He just had two Saltines. We'll see if they stay down. Cinderella flared up with the pinkeye today - I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time.
We actually had a respite yesterday and went to the zoo - everybody was healthy, and it was "Won't You Be My Neighbor" Day, and kids were free. It was also 38 degrees - I've never seen the zoo less crowded! Many of the animals were "put away" for the winter, but we got to spend some really nice quality time with the lions, elephants and gorillas. No crowds, no pushing, no sunburns. Aside from Tarzan dropping his mittens in the toilet, it was a pretty pleasant outing. (And no, we didn't give them back to him, that's NOT why he's sick today)
I also got an email response from Pitt, responding to my inquiry if there was anything I could do to improve my portfolio for future auditions. It's actually very nice, I've quoted part of it below, but strangely, doesn't make me feel a whole lot better. A little, but not a lot.
Here it is:
"I want to tell you first of all that you auditioned/interviewed very well. You were a strong candidate on our list. Of particular note to us, was your teaching session. You did really well and D. and I both agreed that you would make a great candidate for the program. Your fundamental problem with this round of applicants is that we had so many really good people so we had to choose based on complicated criteria that we don't normally consider. Things like balancing what each student would bring to the department. Whether or not the acting skills were as strong with one candidate versus another.I would love to encourage you to apply again if your life circumstances warrant. I say that only based on the strength of this application but I cannot make any promises about how things might shake out. We remain convinced that you would be a great candidate and would love to have you with us.I don't know if that is helpful at all. I'm sorry this didn't work out. I'm sure it is very disappointing. But I hope you can be encouraged by the fact that you did so well."
So yay.

Here's the summary: I got a letter from Pitt on Thursday, saying no. Frankly, I was pretty shocked. I guess I was overconfident, but I really thought that it was going to happen, and I have no plan B in place. I'm extremely disappointed, and not quite sure what I'm going to do with my life now. Most other programs have already passed their submission deadlines, and I'm having a hard time swallowing waiting until Fall of 2009 to begin school. I did just apply to Point Park, but still need to schedule an audition for them, which is where I always seem to blow it. Other news items: Footloose ended last night (Quaker valley's show) and went as well as could be expected, considering the talent level. The audience seemed pleased. AND....Scooby's team came in 2nd at the Odyssey of the Mind competition yesterday, and is going on to the State Competition in Altoona on Apr. 12th!!! I've been coaching his team and it's been VERY time and energy consuming, and I was kind of hoping it would be over this weekend, BUT it's a huge deal to go to States, and so yay for him. He's very proud and excited, and I'm very proud of him too.

.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"/ Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." - Charles M. Schulz

The Sap is Running

Things that made me smile today:
Cinderella singing her version of Footloose: "Mommy! Let your foot be cutted and let your foot be loosed!"
60 degrees outside!
Cinderella's teacher dressed up like the Cat in the Hat
Seeing all the buttons, eyes, hat, etc. lying on the ground next to the now-diminutive snowman
Did I mention it's 60 degrees outside?

Several books I've read recently and want to share my thoughts on, but don't have time right now:
Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer
Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell
Wasted, by Marya Hornbacher

No School - Again!

Another snow day...and it's raining outside. Who the hell makes these decisions and what are they smoking when they do???? Between snow days, conference days, and President's day, the kids have gone to school a total of 11 days in February. I've got a nasty cold, and was really counting on some peace and quiet today, but it wasn't meant to be. They're outside playing in the slush right now, and will probably all have colds by Monday.
This is going to be a pretty whiny post, so if you're done listening to me whine, stop reading now.

Still here?

Okay, I warned you.

There is something wrong with my hip. It's been bugging me for about a month, and it's steadily getting worse. I think it's some kind of tendon or bursa thing, because I can feel it pulling when I stretch it, and it gets a little better if I walk for a half hour or so. However, if I try to teach choreo, it flames up and hurts like a bitch. Also, when I had all-over body aches two nights ago with this cold, my hip felt like it was onfire. So what gets inflamed when you're sick?

Also, how long to I need to wait for Pitt to contact me before I send a politely impatient email? They said after February 15th...but not how LONG after. It would be nice to plan my life.

Sigh. Snow and rain, go away. Don't come back.

FINALLY!!!

We sold the white van! Hooray! Only $1800, and it's worth more, but hey, cash in hand. No school today or tomorrow for parent/teacher conferences. We had 7 kids here this morning for Odyssey of the Mind (plus Tarzan and Cinderella) doing clay, coloring with Sharpies, and PAINTING. Remarkably, the house seems to have survived. Of course, we're doing it all over again tomorrow! Then Mom and Dad come on Saturday - perhaps the house will be cleaned, perhaps not. The rivers are still rising, so it may be a little damp. Hopefully not - they're supposed to crest by midnight tonight, so we'll see. It's very wet and muddy outside - I guess that's a sign of Spring maybe possibly showing up someday, so I can't complain.

Riding in the car with Cinderella

C: Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama.
Me: What.
C: Mama. Mama. Mama.
Me: YES?
C: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
C: What does the dog do to the dog?
Me: I don't know, what?
C: Live with it!!!! (Hysterical laughter)
Me: Ha ha ha.
C: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
C: Why does the man...no, the dog...no, why does the dog live with the man?
Me: I don't know, why?
C: To be with the dog!! (Hysterical laughter)
Me: Wow, good one.
C: Let's play mermaid. I will be the mermaid, and you will be the mommy.
Me: Okay.
C: I will be the princess mermaid, who has superpowers. I have powers that are...who's the girl in that movie?
Me: Violet? From the Incredibles? (I'm an amazing guesser)
C: Yes. I will be Violet. What does she do again?
Me: She goes invisible. And makes a shield.
C: What's a shield?
Me: It protects you from bad guys.
C: Like Jesus?
Me: Sure.
C: Okay, I'm the princess mermaid with superhero shield. And you are the mommy. The stretchy mommy. With elastical arms.
Me: Yep, that's me.
C: Okay. Play.
Me: Actually, I'm driving.
C: How longer until we get there?
Me: We'll be leaving the parking spot any second now.

Friends

There is a woman who's son goes to Cinderella's preschool. She and I have had several conversations, discovered some mutual interests, and shared some laughs. We've run into each other spontaneously in Starbucks, and at the mall (in the Disney store) while the kids were in school, and we've had coffee together twice now.
Now, I don't make friends easily. This is a fault in myself - I hold myself back and evaluate people from a distance for a long time before opening up the window to possible friendships. I'm not really sure why this is, but I've always been this way. I only had one close friend in high school, two in college. One since college. And of course, my husband, who is my best friend, although he aggravates me more than any of my female friends ever have. There are several people that I've wanted to be friends with, who have then moved away and ruined my chances. And there are some that I can strike up easy conversations with and totally enjoy being with them when I'm around them (hi, Linnie!), but don't get to be around them enough to cultivate a depth to the friendship. And then there's family - a different story altogether, for better or worse!
I don't mean to sound like a total misanthrope - I get along perfectly well with almost everyone I come in contact with, and I have lots of "friend-ish" relationships with people. But not many that I'd really call friends. Perhaps I'm too picky with my definitions.
Anyway, I like this woman. I'd even consider trying to become her friend. Now, watch her move to Nebraska, or something.

Well, at least I can get the Halloween pictures off the front page

Today's good things:
Chai Tea Latte - paid for with gift card!
A nap
Finishing today's choreography work
My brother's new blog site
Cinderella's special bundle dance
Seeing Debbie
Finally getting some words onto this blog - lame though they are!