My heart

Here is a letter which was delivered to me this evening:

"Dear Mommy,
I was thinking about getting a beagle, and I was thinking about how bad you mihht have felt when I said I was disapointed. I just want you to know that I am very happy that I got the beagle Webkinz. (Though I am disapointed that I didn't get a real beagle).
Love,
Scooby"

Well, he didn't write Scooby, but you know what I mean.

It has NOT been a week since I posted!

Crazy busy here - teaching classes M-F from 9-3, rehearsal in the pm. Survived another birthday party. It went really well - lots of fun. Pictures and details to come.
How can I be this busy and yet this unproductive???

Happy Father's Day

This is my dad. This is probably my favorite picture of my dad, but unfortunately, our scanner is very tempermental, so you get a digital picture of a picture. It was taken about 10 years ago up in NY, on Arbuckle Pond. Dad and I were out in a canoe - and I think that was the last time I was actually in a canoe, which is too bad, since it's something I love to do. I was on a solo camping trip, before we had kids, and had spent some time visiting Mom and Dad's friends at their summer camp.

I love this picture for a couple of reasons. One, the canoeing, that I already mentioned. Two, my dad looks really relaxed and happy. Three, you can tell that he's steering the boat, but he's really concentrating more on being with me. And that third point pretty much sums up one of the great qualities of my dad.

He's a really capable guy. He can fix just about anything, figure out solutions to knotty problems, explain why something works the way it does. He's really smart and funny too - a great one for telling stories at parties - great at knowing how to talk to different kinds of people. He's terrific at steering the boat, in other words. He knows where he's going, how to get there, and how to find all the restrooms along the way. : )

But...he's also great at letting you find your own way on how to get there, and to just spend time with you while you're doing it. For example; I'm a theater person. I love to sing, dance, act, teach...I've worked in theater professionally and non-professionally all my life. My dad's an engineer. Our brains work very differently. I think a lot more like my mom, which is why it's sometimes easier for us to talk about things. My dad probably doesn't understand a lot of the reasons why I do the things that I do, or why I'd even want to. But, he let me do it. He let me major in theater in college and even paid for it. Didn't even panic that much when I told him how little I was making at my first job out of college. He's let me steer my own course, and suffer the pitfalls along the way, all the while staying nearby in case I ever needed him.

There have been lots of times when I've wished to be back in that canoe, gliding along on the cold, smooth pond while the sun set behind us. Moving just fast enough to avoid most of the mosquitoes. Smelling the faint whiffs of smoke and torched marshmallows from the campsites on the shoreline, the pine trees, the slightly mineral smell of the water.

Life lately has felt more like swimming upstream in a strong current than gliding across a glassy pond.

But when I look at this picture, I remember what it was like, and I smile.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Still Here

I know, I know, I've been very lax in posting. I'm a slacker. I'll post soon with pictures and details about Tarzan's birthday and Mom and Dad's visit. I'll get to it. I will! Stop nagging me, internet!!! Stop glaring at me with that put-out look on your face! I'm doing the best I can here, okay? So just hold your horses and stop pressuring me!!!!

There. I feel better.

Take me out to the ballgame...

We spent Sunday at the Pirates game - and a great time was had by all! I know, I know, Pirates vs. the Diamondbacks - not much of a game for you BoSox fans, but there were some good plays, the Pirates won, and we had spectacular seats! Don got the tickets from a guy at work, and we were close enough to see the sweat beads on the players faces. We were right on the third base line, about six rows back from the field. And PNC park is amazing - the view of the city behind the ball field is gorgeous. Yes, it was 90 degrees and we were right in the sun. So it wasn't perfect. Tarzan dropped his popcorn, fell down the stairs and scraped his nose, and got a rash from the sun. Scooby got a headache from the combination of heat and screaming "Let's go Bucs!" for the whole ninth inning. All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable day at the ball park.

ps: Cinderella spent the day with Granny doing girly stuff. She loved it!!!

Summertime!

It's 92 degrees and the pool is up! One new part, one new tarp, 250 pounds of leveling sand, and a gazillion gallons of water later, it's set up and ready to go. The boys have been in and are thrilled to pieces. Cinderella's not quite ready yet, but if the temp stays this way, which it's supposed to, I'm sure she'll change her mind. I moved all the sand myself (oi! my back!) but Don made up for it by moving all the air conditioners down from the attic this morning. So don't worry, Mom and Dad, we're ready for you!
Went running this morning before it got unbearable. Tarzan's T-ball practice was cancelled due to the heat (wimps!) but as of now both boys have games tomorrow.
My unbelievable children have started their own "school before school" program. They did this last year, and were remarkably consistent with it for about two weeks. Bear in mind they only got out of school on Wednesday. Scooby is the teacher and has set up a schedule for reading, math, free time, lunch, library, geography, and science. They're at lunch now. Library, reading and math went splendidly! They are so tickled that they're doing this on their own, and both Tarzan and Cinderella are enthusiastic participants. Don't know how long it will last, but it's been fun today!

Cinderella's version

Instead of "Eeny Meenie Miney Moe":

Eeny Miny Mo
Checker Tiger Toe
Let my mother go
So we can have the rest of the days
For-ev-er
A-men.

I have now officially passed 100 posts on this blog. Huzzah!

A little better

Beautiful weather is helping. Good rehearsal for murder mystery show, pool party yesterday, the kids had s'mores, party projects going well, all helping. The kids are just breaking my heart, though. Little things they say and do, little shows of disrespect, little unkindnesses to each other, little losses and fears that break their hearts - it's all making me tired. I'm failing them moment by moment, and I'm only seeing the big picture and getting perspective after they're in bed and asleep. Can't really go into detail right now, and really, it's nothing major. Just little heartbreaks. Cracks in the mirror.