All Hail the Wee Folk

Well, I caved. Maybe it was the chocolate chip cookie he left the leprechaun yesterday. Or maybe it was this morning's note: Dear Leprechaun, Plese leve me one just one piece of gold. Form: D.D. For Leprechaun
I crumbled the cookie, took the note, and left a polished rock painted with a gold glitter shamrock on it. Maybe I've crimped his creativity, but he'll sure be happy in the morning.

Holiday Traditions

How necessary is it that I, as a mother, participate in/encourage my children's desire for holiday traditions? We already have quite a few. We do the whole Santa thing - stockings, leaving milk and cookies, writing a note, listening to the bell from "Santa's sleigh" to see if we really, truly, beleive. (Thanks Polar Express)We do an Easter egg hunt, and the Easter bunny leaves cutout paper footprints from the kids' rooms to the baskets in the morning. The tooth fairy visits and leaves not only money, but a sprinkling of fairy dust, and sometimes a note, depending on the difficulty of losing the tooth. We make Valentine's for each other, and the kids sign their names to the store-bought Batman and Scooby kid valentines. Really, there's quite enough to fill our days with nostalgic joy and fond memories.
So why do I feel so much guilt about refusing to enter in to Scooby's latest fascination/obsession: St. Patrick's Day.
Wait, you say, St. Patrick's Day is over. Shouldn't we already be thinking ahead to Easter? But no, St. Patrick's Day cannot yet be truly over, as we haven't been visited by a leprechaun.
Scooby is very adept at craft making. It's just about his favorite thing to do. So for St. Paddy's Day, he made a leprechaun house out of paper and tape, and put it outside. He also made a trap - digging a hole and covering it over with leaves - to catch the leprechaun (I guess if the house wasn't a sufficiant lure)He fully expected to find SOMETHING in either the trap, or the house on the morning of the 17th. Perhaps a leprechaun. Perhaps a pot of gold. Or at least a ribbon. (Why a ribbon? Your guess is as good as mine!) But there was nothing. Why? Because me, BAD MOMMY, didn't play along and provide anything. Really, I thought. We do enough. And he'll forget about it soon enough. Wrong! Today, March 21st, 4 days after St. Patrick's Day, he went outside before catching the bus to put a cookie in the house. Maybe THAT would lure the little green folk.
So, do I just keep waiting for him to refocus on the next holiday, or do I give in and go stick a ribbon in the paper house? Which is more important? Limits, or encouraging imagination and fantasy?

Internet stalker

Okay, most of you already know I'm an internet stalker. I like to google people and find out if they have a presence on the World Wide Web. I don't really do it to be intrusive, I just think it's fun...and if anyone out there posts a resume, or a blog, or a livejournal, for instance, I think it's pretty much fair game to be read. Well, last night I found my high school boyfriend. I had pretty much assumed that he was either dead in a ditch by now, or at least shacked up with a relative somewhere in Lowell, but apparently he moved to Wisconsin, completed a master's degree in piano performance, and is teaching private lessons while - get this - acting as Music Director for a church! Those of you who know who I'm talking about probably need to take a moment to pick your jaws up off the floor. I even found a picture, and while the past 20 years have treated him about the same as they've treated me, and he does have considerably less hair, he looked peaceful and healthy. I'm so happy for him. I'm considering further stalking to try to find an email address. Yes, Hubby knows I'm doing this, and it's just for friendly inquiry, so don't freak out, Mom. It's good to know that people can change. I know I certainly have, and I don't know why it's so hard to recognize that in other people as well, instead of holding a frozen image of them from a previous time. So here's to change. And stalking.

A Day Off

Today I went nowhere. Except for a walk around the block pulling Cinderella and Tarzan in the wagon. I did spend a strangely exhorbitant amount of time on the phone or email, doing work-related stuff, but the kids were unusually cooperative and it really wasn't painful at all. The same day that I lost a cast member of Godspell, I gained a potential new (possibly better, in that he's a guy which is what I really needed for the part anyway) one. I folded two loads of laundry and put away a total of 5 - there were three that have been waiting for a couple of days. I played Superheros in the backyard,and snuggled Scooby and Tarzan on the couch while watching educational television. (Although I really do find Arthur entertaining, and architect Frank Gehry was the "guest" for this episode, teaching the kids about treehouse design. It was pretty cool. Sidenote - how do you do that when you're already in parenthesis, LW? Did any of you see last weeks entry on Bringing Up Ben and Birdy? Very thoughtful and somewhat disturbing references to another Arthur video. I really recommend reading Catherine Newman's blog, and book "Waiting for Birdy")
Where was I?
Oh, yes. We had chocolate bananas for dinner and squashed grapes in a strainer to make our own grape juice. (Scooby's idea) Everyone had a drizzle. I talked to a friend for an hour on the phone after the kids were in bed. I sorted Cinderella's clothes and put the ones that were too small in the attic, and packed a box of borrowed ones to mail back to their rightful owner.
I put Cinderella on the phone with Grandma and Grandpa and got to listen to her say "Hi-yo, Pa Pa! Hi-yo!" for about 5 minutes at full volume.
I wore sweats and slippers all day.
Yes, my life is nuts. Yes, the pressure is all still there.
But today was a day off.

Insanity

I usually pride myself on handling stress pretty well. I don't hit my children, swear at strangers driving by me, or smoke cigarettes. Sure, I may eat an occasional tub of cookie dough, but I rationalize it by drinking skim milk with it. I also try to get a healthy dose of sleep, (which is totally dependent on whether the kids decide to get a healthy dose of sleep, but that's really out of my control) and to maintain a spiritual awareness. Why I felt it necessary to test out the full range of my stress management potential, I'm not sure, but apparently I did.
I work in theater. Therefore, my work is totally cyclical, and inconsistent. Sometimes I'm doing NOTHING work related (and by work here, I'm using the loose definition of expending energy to receive a paycheck, no matter how small, in return. This doesn't include the everyday highly demanding work of raising three kids and a husband and a cat) and other times, like now, I'm completely inundated. For the past 14 years, I've worked with the local high school, choreographing their musicals. This year we're doing ByeByeBirdie...and I've so far managed to avoid poking out my eye with a fork from hearing WELOVEYOUCONRAD 9,000 in a row. Project #1. After a three year hiatus, I've returned to the Christian Elementary/Middle School to direct Honk, Jr. The musical story of the Ugly Duckling. Project #2. I've also decided to direct Godspell at my church - a huge undertaking which barely qualifies as "work", based on my above definition, since I'm only drawing my regular staff salary and not being paid any additional money for taking on a full-scale musical. Project #3.
So what am I currently contemplating? Project #4!! Some old friends of mine run a murder mystery dinner theater, and have asked me to read for them to understudy a couple of shows. Sounds easy enough, right?? Except there are 7 rehearsals scheduled during the month of April, which is already booked pretty solid with Projects #1, #2, and #3. I haven't been able to say no yet, though, because they are friends whom I would LOVE to work with, it is an ACTING job, and it would be really really fun. Plus, it holds long range potential for the dead time which will be coming after the others are over. So do I try to work it out? Do I go for it? Or do I just drink some more coffee, eat a cookie, and focus on the current commitments to insanity?
I'd love to keep writing, but it's time to wake up Cinderella and go get Tarzan from preschool.

Pajama Day

It's pajama day at Tarzan's preschool today. They get to wear PJ's to school, bring a sleeping bag and pillow, watch movies, and eat popcorn and homemade pizza. How cool is that? I don't remember getting to do that in school. He "got dressed" in his school pajamas at 7:00am, and has been running around the house like a crazy person all morning in anticipation. Ah, to be three again.
On a more existential note, Scooby came downstairs a couple of nights ago shortly after going to bed, in tears because he was "thinking about that, when I'm dead? I'll never ever ever be alive ever again. And it makes me sad." Well, hell, it makes me sad too! So I gave him the speech about being with Jesus when he dies, and that everyone he loves will be with him forever when they die, and besides it won't happen for a long long time, probably, because Mommy and Daddy love him so much and will take very good care of him. Then we snuggled for a couple minutes, and he went to bed.
I, however, didn't sleep for a long time.

Cry if I want to, cry if I want to

OMG! She just did it again! It's 12:45 am and she was just crying in her crib butt naked, with wet sheets and blankets!!!
She has promised me, however, hand upon pacifier that she won't do it again.
And she gave me a very cute, "Sowwy, Mama."
I may start stapling her clothes on.

It's my potty and I'll cry if I want to

So I put Cinderella up for her nap later than usual, expecting her to fall right to sleep, like she usually does. 30 minutes later, she's still up there yelling, "Mama! Not sleeping, Mama! Not sleeping!" I go in to check on her, and she is completely naked in the crib. Never done that before! And she's extremely pleased with herself. "Yook, Mama. I nakey!" So I pick her up and she says, "Oh, I wet too. I go pee pee." I asked her where, and she pointed to the blanket. "Right dere, Mama. On byanket." So after changing all the blankets, sheets, and stuffed animals (it was a remarkably large pee area) I put on a clean pull-up and new clothes. Ten minutes later, she's wet again. Nothing totally remarkable about any of this, I know. At least I know why she wasn't sleeping. And at least it wasn't poop. A friend from church still tells the story of when her daughter was a toddler (she's graduating from high school this year - and loves to hear this story repeated, I'm sure) and she pooped, took off the diaper, and fingerpainted with the poop all over the kitchen stove. Which was on. So the poop baked onto the front of it and filled the home with a lovely poo-pourri smell! (Sorry) I'm just so over the whole diaper thing. It's times like this that make me think three kids really will be enough for us. (And to those of you who are incredulously wondering if it's really taken me this long to think that way...just keep it to yourselves, thank you very much!)
On the lighter side, though, if you ever want to have a really good laugh, just combine one semi-naked preschooler, washable markers, and a big giant hat. Thanks Uncle J! See results below!

Mother has complained that now that she knows how to access the blog, I haven't updated it yet! I spent the weekend in the following ways...I sang at church for 3 different services. We have a worship team and we try to keep the same singers consistent for the weekend, so we don't screw up the cool harmonies we come up with in rehearsals. I cleaned my dentist's office - which we do in exchange for dental care...we have much the better end of that deal, believe me! Let's see...I re-read Crystal City, which is the 6th book in the Alvin Maker series by Orson Scott Card. I read it about a year ago, and was disappointed in it. I like it better on second reading, but it still feels like Card's editor fell down on the job and he tried to write too many stories in one book and didn't really see any of them through to an emotional satisfying climax. I also read parts of a book called Off Balance, about the seamy underworld of ballet. It was pretty old and repetitive, so I didn't really finish it, but it did make me feel a little better about my very definately NOT ballerina body! I also started Stephen King's newest, called Cell. It's very creepy - more along the blood and guts line of some of his horror stuff than the suspense stuff that I prefer, like Bag of Bones, which is my favorite. I have lots of work to do for the three musicals that I'm working on this spring, but I was procrastinating by reading. I also watched Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy on Sunday night. I love Grey's Anatomy, but I'm really pissed off that they have Meredith sleeping with George this week. That's just wrong. At least our cars didn't break down this weekend, but the cold has brought out some brand new noises! I'm hoping they just go away.

A Side of Rice

I have asked the children to come up with nicknames for themselves, so that I can refer to them in this blog without revealing or compromising their identities, in case of future political aspirations. Oldest son (6) has asked for Scooby Doo. Middle son (3) has requested Tarzan. Youngest daughter (2) has emphatically chosen Cinderella.

Tarzan's preschool has a rice table. It's like a sandbox, but it's up off of floor level, and filled with dry rice rather than sand...the theory being that rice is easier to clean up, and harder to get lodged in one's eyeball. In addition to the rice, it has small buckets, shovels, funnel-type things, little trucks, etc. It's a great favorite for playtime, which comprises at least the first 15 minutes of preschool. Cinderella loves the rice table.

So on Thursday, I brought them in to drop Tarzan off. We go in the classroom, hang up his coat and backpack, and get his nametag. While Tarzan and I've been doing that, Cinderella has zoomed over to the rice table, wedged herself in the corner in between two other kids, and is playing very happily. I let her play for a couple of minutes before I began my first attempt to get her out. She refused, so rather than deal with the kicking and screaming that would follow a forcible removal (I know, I wimped out) I let her play awhile longer. Next time I look, one of the very motherly and solicitous three year olds has helped her off with her coat, and informed me that "This preschool is really for three AND two year olds." The teachers were fine with having her in there, so I hung around during clean up time, and song time, both of which she fully participated in.

Finally, the teachers told me to just leave, since she seemed to be enjoying herself so much. I went over to the church office next door to help them fold some stuff, so I could come right back over and remove her if she decided she'd had enough higher learning. Well, she didn't. She stayed through the entire class, participated in everything, and proudly showed me her worksheets and puppet craft when I came to pick them up! From now on, I think she'll be staying in the car when I drop off Tarzan!

Here's the gross part.

We came home, she took a nap, and it was about three hours later that I checked her diaper. At first, I didn't know what the small white things were - my first fleeting thoughts were maggots? Some kind of worm infestation? I was EXTREMELY grossed out and am very proud of myself for not screaming and throwing her off my lap and across the room. So I pull the diaper off, and a shower of rice falls onto the floor. It must have been a least a handfull. And not just loose in the diaper either. There was rice wedged into place that certainly would have made napping an impossibility to me!!! I don't know how it got there. But the princess and the pea, she is not!

So go enjoy your dinner now! Bon Appetit!

Valentine Flowers

THE ACT - Carlos Williams

There were the roses, in the rain.
Don't cut them, I pleaded.
They won't last, she said.
But they're so beautiful
where they are.
Agh, we were all beautiful once, she said,
and cut them and gave them to me
in my hand.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Importance of comfort objects

So we all understand how important those "lovies" of childhood are...the blanket, the pacifier, the clown, whatever. But now, I have discovered the true reason behind the significance. No, it's not the psychological benefits of transference, it's not the physiological comfort of something soft to hug. No, it's much more basic and scientific.
Tonight, my six year old's "lovies", Kitty and Pillow (the very imaginatively named stuffed cat and pillow he sleeps with) were, even to his nearly-immune nose, stinky. He requested they be washed. Unfortunately, it was about 20 minutes before bedtime when he made the request. Apparently they were really smelly (I refused to verify the smell myself, choosing instead to take him at his word) and he decided that he could try to go to sleep without them if we promised to bring them up as soon as they were dry.
About half an hour after we left the room, he came down to tell us that when the blanket was on him, he was too hot, and when it was off, he was too cold. Don went up to try to get the correct balance of blanket vs. non-blanket. After several frustrating minutes, he says, "See, Dad, this is why I need Kitty and Pillow. They help to stabilize my temperature."
Who knew?
Kitty and Pillow are now clean, dry, and smell like fabric softener. They are safely tucked up in bed with a slightly sweaty, but sound asleep, future lab scientist. Or perhaps, meteorologist.

Tagged

Having also been tagged, even before I created a blog:

Four jobs I've had:
1. Nurse's Aide at an elder care home
2. Ballet teacher
3. Touring actor for school shows about chemical dependency (my favorite part was the "walking addiction" - dressed in black robes and white masks - kind of like the killer on Scream, before Scream existed
4. Choreographer/Director

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Parenthood
2. It's a Wonderful Life
3. Dirty Dancing. (I know, I'm pathetic. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!")
4. True Lies

Four places I’ve lived:
1. Westford, MA
2. Wilkinsburg, PA
3. Aliquippa, PA
4. Sewickley, PA (Okay, so the last three aren't really much different, unless you're from Western PA, but if you are, they're significantly different. Really!)

Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
2. Norwood, NY
3. Aruba, St. Maarten, Curacao, and St. Thomas (all on the same trip)
4. Westford, MA (yes, for me it is a vacation spot. Hey, my parents have a pool!)

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Pizza. Any kind, and brand. I love pizza.
2. Does chocolate count as a "dish"?
3. French Onion soup
4. Chicken Caesar salad

Four sites I visit daily:
1. msn.com
2. quistilton.blogspot.com (yes, daily. So write more!)
3. stphilipsonline.org (Not every day, but a lot. It's my church. Go there to see my picture!
4. slate.com

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Somewhere in New England, closer to my family
2. Aruba
3. Virginia Beach
4. Asleep

Just Jump

Here I am, entering the world of blogging, with nose plugged, eyes squeezed shut, and a lungful of good intentions.
I've been meaning to do this for a long time...not for the pathetically small group of folks which may actually read this drivel...(hi guys!) but just for my mental health. A couple of minutes of quiet focus a day...a moment to reconnect with myself and draw away from the demands of wife-dom, Mommy-dom, just being a part of this whole swirling human mess.
So no deep thoughts, at least not today. Just a jumping into the pool.
For anyone who might care, the title of my blog comes from Philippians 4...the peace of God, which passes understanding, may guard your hearts and minds...
I'm always in search of more peace.
Peace out!